Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts
When kids misbehave or make mistakes, do we want them to suffer for what they've done…or do we simply want them to learn responsibility?
When we slip into the "making-them-suffer" mentality, the odds of success take a dive...along with our relationship with the child.
When we remember that "discipline" simply means "teaching," the odds are much higher that we'll remain empathetic...even loving...as we allow our children to learn from consequences.
A parent recently asked:
Our twelve-year-old son started to make a habit of lying to us about what was going on at school. We did our best to be empathetic as we described how he would have to do plenty of extra chores to replace the energy he had drained out of us. He had to pull weeds, clean up a bunch of old, rotted firewood, clean out a nasty dusty lawn shed, and a few other tedious jobs.
What worried us was his attitude about it all. He didn't even get upset. He even seemed to like it.
What are we doing wrong?
I suggested waiting and paying close attention to whether or not their son's politician-like behavior continued. Months later, she was excited to say that it did not.
Kids don't need to be upset about consequences
to learn from consequences.
to learn from consequences.
Of course, the odds for learning go way up when consequences meet certain guidelines. Click HERE to review these guidelines.
No comments:
Post a Comment