LIVING LOVE AND LOGIC TIP #20

Love and Logic Alternatives to Saying "No"
Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic^® Experts

 

When I advise parents about saying "no," I tell them the same thing I tell adolescents who might be considering some self-destructive act: "You can always do that, so let's try other things first."

• Give a choice and imply consequences: "Gee, I don't think that is a very good decision and I'm pretty sure it might work out poorly for you."

• Suggest an alternative behavior without ordering it: "I think that if I were in your shoes, I would probably change my tone of voice rather than being asked to leave."

• Ask for illumination (without using a witness stand tone of voice): "I've always wondered about what leads kids to be obnoxious. Can you help me understand that?"

• Give a direct question: "How do you think this is going to work out for you?"

Remember, Love and Logic has nothing against telling a kid "no." However, that means the response has not been clearly thought through. If we can say something that gets the kid to make his own decision, we are further ahead.

 

LIVING LOVE AND LOGIC TIP #19

Why saying, "Just try it, it's easy" isn’t a good idea.
Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic^® Experts

Has someone ever said to you, "Just try it, it's easy!" and then you found-out the task they coaxed you into trying was painfully difficult? Did this leave you feeling exceptionally capable or downright stupid…and  embarrassed?

 

When this happens to the average adult, it doesn't take long for them to conclude two things:

• This person who's trying to help me is nuts…and definitely not to be trusted!

• Why should I try if I can't even handle the easy stuff?

Quite frequently I overhear well-meaning parents and educators using the "Just try it, it's easy!" approach in an attempt to urge a reluctant child into trying something they're afraid of. When the child finds the task easy, all is right with the world. When they don't, they're confronted with the pain of seeing that they might be so slow that they can't even do something really, really "easy"!

 

How often does this need to happen before our kids lose faith in our word? How often does this have to happen before our children lose faith in their own abilities? Are you willing to take this sort of risk with your kids?

 

In my book, From Bad Grades to a Great Life!, I teach a far safer approach. Experiment with asking your child:

 

A lot of kids find this kind of challenging. Would you try this and let me know what you think?

 

If you hear, "It's too hard. I can't do it," smile, pat them on the back and ask:

 

Aren't you glad that I don't believe that?

 

"Aren't you glad that I don't believe that?" represents an exceptionally powerful way of communicating to your children that they have what it takes to succeed. Delivered in question format its effectiveness becomes supercharged. Remember: Questions create thinking. Statements create resistance.

 

You may also experiment with asking another question:

 

And…aren't you glad that I'm going to love you the same even if you have to work really hard to figure this out?

LOOK WHO'S COOKING!

     In cooking class we used our 5 senses to discover a pineapple. We decided it was healthy a food. We discussed how much it weighs in comparison to a feather. Then we weighed ourselves and compared which one weighs more. We discussed where they grow. We learned that it takes 18 mos to grow a pineapple and only one at a time grows on each bush type plant....making them more expensive per pound. We observed the pineapple plant Ms. JoAnn showed Brodee Bear in So. Carolina (where Ms JoAnn's grandchildren Naomi and Noah moved to). We observed our collection of coins and identified which ones were quarters. If we spent all quarters it would take approximately 16 quarters to buy a 1 lb pineapple.

NV Pre K Standard Life Science- L.PK.4 5 senses:
Use 5 senses to explore and investigate the natural world

NV Pre K standard Health (HE)-
1.PK.3 identify Healthy Food

Nv Pre K standard math(M)-
3.PK.1 compare objects by size to determine smaller and larger

Nv pre K standard Geography (G)
G7.PK.1 begin to understand that people move to other places.

Nv Pre K Standard Math (M)
M3.PK.4 sort pennies and nickels

NV PreK Standard social studies/ economics (EC)
Ec 10.PK.1 demonstrate the role of consumers and understand that money is exchanged for goods and/or services.

Growing up!

41.2 Lbs and is 44 3/4 ".

41.2 lbs and is 44.5" tall.

 
  This past week we have been working with measurements; different measuring tools, different things to measure and different measuring systems. Students loved learning about their growing bodies. Students used a scale to find out their weight and then used a ruler to determine their height. They organized and recorded this data to be used for later discussion and activities.

     It was fun to see the growth that several students have had throughout the year. This student has been with HO4K for several years so he was able to predict how many inches he has grown since last summer. After predicting we learned that he has grown 2 3/4" in just a little over a year! Wow!

 41.2 lbs and is 45" tall

     After all students were measured and weighed we compared the sizes of friends. Students moved into order; light, medium, heavy, more than, less than or the same, short, medium tall or big, bigger, biggest etc. We can't wait to work more with measurement as we continue to track our growth and grow into "BIG KIDS!"

NV Kindergarten (K) standards addressed:

*Math 2.PK.1 Sort objects by similar attributes (e.g., size, shape, color, etc.)

*Math 5.PK.1 Identify and sort information.

*Math 3.K.1 Compare, order, and describe objects by size.

LIVING LOVE AND LOGIC TIP #18

Saved by One Letter
Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic^® Experts


 

      Judy saved her own life. She used to listen when her kids argued with her. She used to fall for their manipulation. When her teen daughter said, "You love Billy more than me!" she used to get upset and insist, "That's not true! I love you BOTH!"

   Now she takes better care of herself. When the arguing and manipulation start, Judy goes brain dead. She doesn't listen to the words lest she be tempted to do something dumb - like respond. Instead, Judy picked a brilliant sound to use when her kids attempt to push her buttons. The sound is "Mmmmm."It works with nearly any situation:

"You’re ruining my life!"

"Mmmmm."

"You think it's 1950 or something!"

"Mmmmm."

    Judy's life - or at least her sanity - is saved. She no longer gets roped into long, destructive fights with her kids. She no longer gets defensive or worn down. She just shuts her brain off, stops listening to the manipulative words, and repeats "Mmmmm."

    Her kids have no idea what to do - but they HAVE learned very quickly that when Mom goes into "Mmmmm mode," there's no use in arguing. They hardly even try anymore.

    For more great tips on using Love and Logic techniques to save your sanity, check out Love and Logic Magic When Kids Leave You Speechless

* WOW could it be really this easy?!?! Weekly challenge: oractice being "brain dead" when your little one is pushing your buttons! : )

New Preschool Standards

The state of Nevada has recently revised the Nevada Pre-Kindergarten standards. This is a complied list of learning objectives that provide a framework for curriculum and instruction at the pre-kindergarten level. As parents it is very important that we are aware of the learning that is to be taking place with our little ones. At HO4K, all of the state standards are discussed, addressed and practiced with the students. Many activities actually address several of the standards for pre-K learning. Frequently the new state pre-K standards will be listed under the description and pictures on the blog throughout the week. This will help you to be aware of what your child is doing, the reasons we are doing certain activities and where your child's learning ability should be upon completing preschool. Please take a moment to review these standards yourself as it is extremely informative and even offers ideas on how to cover concepts to help your child understand a concept. The new Nevada Pre-Kindergarten standards can be found HERE!

Growing Avocados

Its planting time again! When trying to help children learn about responsibility, planting is a great concept. Many might be confused by that statement, but when planting, children are required to work hard to create the perfect environment for the plants to flourish, the plants need to be cared for and watered frequently and students need to be aware of the condition of the growing plant.

At HO4K we have germinated our own avocado seeds for 6 weeks in a wet paper towel inside a closed container. See our past post about how we germinated our avocado seeds here.

. We are now ready to put one seed in soil and one in water to grow plants. Students have researched and have learned that all living things need air,water, food and sunshine.

The more we work with plants, the more students realize that we have the same basic needs.
 We have worked together to create a nourishing environment for our seeds in hopes that they will grow strong and healthy just like us!

F IS FOR FUN!

F-F-F-FLYING!

This week students worked on the letter F. There were many activities but the favorite hands down was the flying swing! Students took turns waiting patiently and reading their names off of a list to participate. Once safety rules were discussed, students were harnessed in and flying! Many skills were learned and reinforced from this activity. For starters, students used their bodies and large motor skills to move the swing. This took practice of coordination and core body strength. Focusing on their upper body and self control, students maneuvered in different positions, practicing above, beside, next to, behind and over objects. This connects to the math concept of spatial relationships. When swinging students also discovered speed, motion, gravity and cause and effect. These science concepts are always fun to learn about, but we all agree that learning with our bodies is the best way!

Fun is just a consequence of attending Hand-On-4-Kids preschool!

LIVING LOVE AND LOGIC TIP #17

When to RescueWeekly Tip from the Love and Logic^® Experts

The chapter in Parenting with Love and Logic emphasizes the importance of not rescuing kids from their mistakes. However, this is not an absolute. This does not apply when the matter has to do with loss of life or limb.

And there are some other times when I would be willing to rescue a child from a mistake. It really doesn't hurt to rescue a child who is usually quite respectful, appreciative, and responsible. It feels good to help out this kind of person and actually helps reinforce relationships.

Rescuing a demanding, unappreciative, and irresponsible person never feels good. And it does nothing to develop relationships and only reinforces irresponsibility.

Night out

Our First "Night out" is filling fast...
Reserve your space today!

Date: Friday, September 16, 2011
Time: 6pm-10pm
Cost: $20 per child ($15 each for the 2nd and 3rd etc.)
Includes: delicious AND nutritious dinner and evening snack

Send them in PJ's, have confidence in their safety and fun!

We are Looking forward to YOUR "Night Out" !! Contact me at your earliest convenience with RSVP, payment due by Wednesday, September 14, 2011. Don't forget!