Seven-year-old Jason and three-year-old Tony share a room. Their parents say that bedtime is frustrating. The two go into their room and before long they are out of their beds being silly.
Mom and Dad have tried taking away toys to get them to settle down, but things haven't improved. "We've taken away most of their toys, but they just don't seem to care," reports Dad.
We have two problems here (and a solution):
- Love and Logic does not advocate taking away possessions as a disciplinary measure. Once kids figure out that we are trying to teach them a lesson by taking things away, they soon start designing ways of showing us they don't care. Even if they do care, they don't want us to know it, so they won't show it.
This idea could be confusing because we often suggest that kids use their possessions to raise money needed to solve a problem. For instance, a child might sell or pawn his iPod to raise enough money to send his folks to the movies to help them restore the energy they spent waiting up and worrying when he came home two hours late.
- Jason and Tony's parents are trying to control something that they can't control. It's easy enough to keep the boys in their room, but keeping them in their beds behind a closed door is something else.
For best bedtime results the activity level in the home should slow down for a period of time prior to bedroom time.
Notice that I called it bedroom time instead of bedtime. With that say, "Guys, it's bedroom time. We love you and look forward to seeing you in the morning. Make sure that we don't hear things that might cause us an energy drain. Sleep tight! Love you."
Before starting this routine, watch the DVD, Simple Parenting Strategies: For Raising Great Kids in Complicated Times, so that you are prepared to deal with the situation the next day, if necessary.
To see more helpful resources click HERE and visit the Love and Logic website!
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