Don't forget The Two Rules Of Love and Logic
Rule #1
Adults set limits without anger, lectures, threats or repeated warnings.
When we describe what we will do or allow, that's setting a limit. When we tell a child what he/she should or shouldn't do, thats a possible fight.
Rule #2
When children cause problems, adults hand these problems back in a loving way.
We hand the problem back by replacing anger and lectures with a strong dose of empathy followed by the logical consequence.
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