LIVING LOVE AND LOGIC TIP #13

Getting Your Kids to Do What You Want
Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic^® Experts

 

The essence of great leadership is the ability to inspire people to do things that they can't be forced to do. The essence of great parenting, especially with older children and teens, is also represented by this ability.

 

Are there any things that you want your kids to do that you can’t make them do?

 

Are there any values you’d like them to adopt that you can’t make them adopt?

 

Have you noticed that using brute force doesn’t get the job accomplished?

 

My book, Parenting Kids To Become the People Employers Really Want and… America Desperately Needs! is a book about parenting through leadership. It's also a book about creating the great future leaders our nation needs. It teaches that the key to getting our children to do, and believe, what we want involves parenting around the Five "E's" of Love and Logic leadership:

• Example
  Great leaders walk the talk. They also stay calm when their kids are upset, stay positive when their children are negative, and stick to their values even when it makes their youngsters mad.

• Expectation
  Great leaders have high expectations and transmit these expectations through firm, yet caring, limits.

• Experience
  Great leaders allow their children to make decisions and to learn from experience. Instead of micro-managing or rescuing, they allow their kids to make mistakes and grow from them.

• Education
  Great leaders teach their children how to behave. During calm times, they don't hesitate to educate them about how to get ready for school in the morning, how to complete their chores, how to get along with their siblings, etc.

• Empathy
  Great leaders know that the magnet that draws others toward them involves a combination of high expectations and great compassion.

Parenting around these Five "E's" doesn't ensure that our kids will always do what we want in the short-term. Instead it dramatically increases the odds that they will follow our lead in the long-run.

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

 

Dr. Charles Fay