Living Love & Logic Tip #77

America…land of the free. What a glorious thing! What a fragile thing.

Connected at the hip are freedom and self-control. Like the flower and the honeybee, neither can survive without the other. The blossoming freedoms of our great country were spread on the feet and wings of those who understood that the lifeblood of liberty is self-discipline.

Are our kids learning self-regulation, or are they growing into adults dependent upon external regulation?

Are current educational policies more concerned with promoting self-regulation and self-control, or are they mostly concerned with ensuring that students can regurgitate the right type and amount of information at the right time?

The ability to handle freedom is learned. It's learned largely through…

• the freedom to make plenty of choices that don't affect the welfare of others.

To prepare for the massive choices they will face when they leave our homes and classrooms our kids must start practicing right now.

• the freedom to make mistakes.

The "price tag" of mistakes goes up every day. It's far better that they make them now…rather than when the consequences are life and death.

• being held accountable with empathy.

The seeds of self-regulation, self-control and personal responsibility grow only when children are held accountable for their choices…and only when they feel loved by those doing so.

• experiencing the safety of consistent and caring limits.

Children learn self-control only when adults provide caring, consistent and enforceable limits.

• enjoying the safety and security of calm homes and classrooms.

The brain is far more likely to develop emotional self-regulation and self-control in calm environments. Does your home, classroom or school provide this opportunity for growth, or is it plagued by disruptive behavior and negative emotions?

If you love freedom… and love the idea of creating kids who can handle it… join Jim Fay, Bob Sornson, Ph.D., Foster W. Cline, M.D., and me for three fun-filled, rejuvenating days in Denver, Colorado. I guarantee an amazing experience.

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Dr. Charles Fay
To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!