Living Love & Logic Tip #68

We all know the story of that boy who cried, "Wolf!"

In the end, there really was a problem and he didn't get the help he needed.

With so much emphasis on bullying these days, do we run the same risk?

If kids learn to take slight offenses too seriously or rely on authority figures to solve every small conflict, could that make things worse?

Of course, adults should step in when there is real danger, but there's another important piece: Teaching kids to be more-resilient, less-enticing targets. This can help adults separate the serious from the not-so-serious.

We encourage parents and teachers to empower kids - NOT to overreact to teasing and less-harmful testing that often occurs in peer relationships. Otherwise, like the boy who cried, "Wolf," real bullying may not get noticed and kids may not get help when they actually need it.

Adults should get involved when there is real harm or the threat of real harm. But all kids will encounter some mean people in life and will benefit from learning to handle it while they're young.

Role-playing responses can help kids handle name-calling and teasing:

Some kids put their hands in their pockets, smile, and say, "Hmm, I hadn't noticed that before. Thanks for letting me know."

Some kids say, "Oh, that reminds me… " and then move away like they just remembered something important.

Some kids make sure they are near adults when mean kids are on the prowl.

Prepared kids make less viable targets.

Let's all do our part, from modeling kindness, to providing good supervision and intervention when kids need help, to teaching kids how to get along and handle the small stuff.

Find more solutions to help kids learn how to deal with the issues of teasing and bullying in Sally Ogden's book, "Words Will Never Hurt Me."
To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

UPDATES

Our blog has been recently updated!  Be sure to read on through Older Posts for updates from school and fun learning experiences your child is having and of course the always helpful love and logic tips!

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!!

The students have each made envelopes to put valentines in.  Your child is welcome to bring Valentine cards any time between now and February 15.  (NO gum or candy please.)
We will be putting them in the class mail box, then delivering them throughout the day.  This is a "hands-on" experience of our mail system as well as a wonderful reading/language experience as the valentines are read throughout the week.
Thanks! 
Hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day!!

Living Love & Logic Tip #67

The primary goal of the Love and Logic approach is NOT to make kids behave. Rather, our primary objective is to help them learn how to make themselves behave…so that they aren't dependent upon rules, regulations, laws, or incarceration to control their behavior.

At our Annual Love and Logic Summer Conference, Dr. Bob Sornson will share a variety of proven strategies for helping young people learn essential emotional self-control skills. These include:

• Delayed gratification
• Empathy and social responsiveness
• The ability to calm oneself when experiencing strong emotions
• Cause-effect thinking

Don’t risk missing Bob’s marvelous presentation. Sign up for this special event today. In the meantime, begin experimenting with one of the most powerful teaching tools offered by the Love and Logic approach: Allow your children (or your students) to overhear you talking about how you apply self-control. Examples include:

• I saw this new TV that I really wanted, but I said to myself, "No. My old one is just fine. I'll just be all stressed out about how to pay for it."

• The other day one of my friends said something that really made me mad. I kept having to remind myself, "Stay calm. If I say something nasty, I'll feel horrible later."

• I always have an easier time being nice to difficult people when I remember to put myself in their shoes.

Remember: Children are typically more likely to learn when they overhear these things rather than being lectured.
To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

Living Love & Logic Tip #66

Do you ever feel like you are on a tightrope? On one side of the narrow line is a scary drop into "Overprotection Canyon" while the other side offers an even worse fall into "Dangers-of-the-World Abyss." Why is it so difficult to stay balanced between coddling…and allowing disaster?

This world can be a pretty complicated place. Some dangers can seem very subtle - even harmless. In other cases, our instinct to rescue kids can kick in when it's really not necessary.

While we can't give you an easy, one-size-fits-all answer to this dilemma, we can offer some general guidelines to help you stay balanced:

• If somebody on Planet Earth will be hurt or killed, or somebody's future will be irreparably damaged, step in and save the day. By the way, how often is this really the case? Not often.

• Avoid rescuing when kids seem to EXPECT to be rescued. This can be a dangerous trend - when kids are trained to believe they can be as irresponsible or reckless as they want and then EXPECT us to swoop in.

• Be MORE ready to intervene with kids who don't usually need it. If a kid never seems to need rescued, pay close attention when he/she does.

• Base your decisions on real needs and real dangers, NOT what others might think. Parenting is not about impressing the neighbors. Your kids’ long-term health is way more important than the perceptions of others.

Find more solutions in Jim Fay's CD, Raising the Odds for Responsible Behavior.
To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

Living Love & Logic Tip #65

I'm very, very concerned. Everywhere I go at least one person tells me the same sad story:

He plays video games nonstop. That's all he wants to do. As soon as he gets home, he goes into the bedroom, shuts the door, and starts playing his video games. When I ask him to shut them off, he ignores me or flies off the handle. And…forget about getting him to do any chores. All he thinks about is his games.

The story continues:

And our kids are getting just as bad!

Do you have a loved one who's obsessed with playing video games? Is your family going down the tube as a result? I'm often asked, "How can I tell if my child (or my spouse) is addicted to gaming?" Perhaps the simplest test is to ask them to stop for a week. That's right! Just ask them to put aside their video games for one short week.

Here's what to look for:

• Does the person get defiant and refuse to take a break?

• Is the person willing to take a break yet becomes exceptionally irritable, depressed, or "bored" during that time?

• Do they lie to you about sneaking game time during their "break"?

If you see any of these classic withdrawal symptoms, you can rest assured that your loved one has a serious problem that will lead to serious consequences if left untreated. My advice is three-fold:

Step One: Don't deny or minimize the problem. Know that it can destroy your family if you don't take action.

Step Two: Listen to our audio download, Taming the Technology Monster.

Step Three: Get qualified professional help if your loved one refuses to live by the limits you set over their gaming.

To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

Announcements

Hello everyone! 

* I know for some of you this has been a rough week of illness! Many thanks for your care and caution in keeping your ill children home and many well wishes for quick recoveries to your children and probably most of the parents (unfortunately!) We miss your smiling faces. To help avoid spreading any other illnesses we continue to wash hands, clean and sanitize toys daily. IN ADDITION, we have tossed all play dough, removed all pretend food, and soft animals to be laundered. (we'll reintroduce them at a later date) The CC Health Department always mentions the advantage we have of having such a large room with high ceilings....more circulation lowers the risk of sharing airborne germs. I will also be posting on the door the CCHD regs on excluding from day care per our Parent Policy and Procedure Handbook just a reminder.  

* We send a warm WELCOME to several new families and are glad to add you to our group! Most are part time, so if you see a new face that I have not introduced you to please reach out a hand of welcome and introduce your fine family. 

* NEW LOVE AND LOGIC CURRICULUM! I am sending home flyer/enrollment for the upcoming L&L Class. It is the same great information UPDATED!!! (I'm very excited about it) It is a whole new format and presentation. Per our contract of agreeing to take the course, if you have not taken it or would like to freshen up it is reduced to $50 per family (even extended) instead of $80 per person. The information attached is for you to share with others you may know that could benefit from the program. (Who doesn't want to get "THE" owner's manual for raising responsible kids and bring fun into parenting!!!!) Thanks for sharing it, word of mouth (and your example of Becoming a LnL Parent (R) is always the best advertising. 

* LOST PANTS. We have misplaced one of our 2 year old boy's size 2 (maybe 3) light colored jeans. They may have mistakenly come home in your child's bag of dirty clothes. If so I apologize and thank you for laundering them! Our little owner is in need of them.... thanks for looking through your drawers and closets just in case they have been overlooked in your home.

* ANOTHER Welcome to Mr. Eddy! My husband Ed, has decided to take a position on our staff (lucky us!). It will be a great benefit to have him helping on the floor in the mornings and concentrating on marketing my sister company (Hands-On-4-Kids Early Childhood Seminars) in the afternoons. His employment as a computer programmer has been very sparse this last year. We are in high hopes of continuing to improve our income by offering more training/workshops to parents, preschool teachers and child care providers.

* Watch for us on FACEBOOK! Our blog link (Handson4kids.com) will continue in a couple of weeks, in the mean time we are setting up a FB account. As it looks we are set up as: "Handson4kids" Hope you "LIKE US" there! A HUGE THANKS goes to Amie Oliveria (Lucas' mom) for blogging so exceptionally well this last year or so. We will really miss their family as they look to a big move to Myrtle Beach, SC where Lucas' dad is now a Physician's Assistant for a Heart Surgeon. Congratulations!

Thanks for sharing your children with us! We learn something new everyday with them!!!!!

Truly,

Ms. JoAnn

Noodles are not just for eating

Great planning went into this student's creative process using small motor as well as math patterning.

MATH

K-4.K.9  Sort and classify objects by color and shape.

2.PK.2  Recognize and replicate simple patterns.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT

6.PK.1  Demonstrate skills in eye-hand coordination (e.g., stacking, sorting, lacing toys, stringing beads, reproducing basic patterns, complete six-piece puzzle, Legos and peg-boards).

 

Money in Exchange for Goods

Students recreated the polar express using money to buy tickets. Teachers facilitated the activities by encouraging using the names of coins and dollar bills.

MATH

3.PK.4  Sort pennies and nickles
K-3.K.4  Identify and sort pennies, nickels, and dimes.

SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL

Ec10.Pk.1  Demonstrate the role of consumers and understand that money is exchanged for goods and/or services.
K-E10.K.1  Identify United States currency.

Climbing in the Sandbox

The students had lots of fun climbing in Ms. JoAnn's giant sandbox. 
"Beginning with the freedom to walk, run, jump, climb, hop and do other physical activities in and out of doors, children are introduced to exploring different ways they can move.  Throughout the preschool years, children are focusing on large muscle development that includes:  Strengthening of muscles, balance, coordination, and muscle control." 

The students love exploring in the sandbox and coming up with their own adventures. While climbing can sometimes be dangerous and makes teachers and parents nervous, it is important to let kids take reasonable risks. The activities the students were inventing while playing were quite daring for some of the more timid. Therefore Ms. JoAnn encouraged them to continue...always asking them how they felt and if they felt safe.

The look on their faces shows pride and a greater sense of self confidence, which really escalated when Ms. JoAnn asked them to demonstrate it or teach a friend how to do it.

 

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT

2.PK.1  Demonstrate a basic form in walking, running, climbing, jumping, hopping, and walking up and down stairs.

3.PK.2  Demonstrate the ability to follow basic movements (e.g., over, under, in, out, and in between).

4.PK.1  Engage in daily moderate to vigorous physical activity.

5.PK.3  Interact positvely with others regardless of personal differences (e.g., skill level, gender, race, and disability).

 

HEALTH

3.PK.1  Identify and express basic feelings (e.g., happy, sad, angry, frightened, etc.).

3.PK.3  Identifty potential hazards at home, school, and community, etc.).

 



Living Love & Logic Tip #64

Far too many parents find themselves mired in un-winnable power-struggles over homework…battles that damage parent-child relationships result in further resistance to learning and they steal joy.

There's good news! With some practical tips, we can enjoy cooperative kids while building a life-long love of learning:

• Prevent resistance by providing choices within limits.

Of course, only give choices that will make you happy regardless of what your child decides. For example:

Do you want to work on math first or reading first?

Would you like to do the odd problems or the even ones?

Would you like to read sitting down or standing up?

• When your children get resistant, allow them to learn by refusing to.

Refusing to do a homework assignment can serve as a more important life lesson than the content of the assignment.

The next time your child gets resistant, experiment with walking away from the table and saying:

I love you too much to fight with you about homework.

I'll be happy to help when I see that you want my help.

• Let their grades be their grades.

When their grades are poor, be sad for them. Using empathy rather than anger dramatically increases the odds that they'll actually feel bad about getting bad grades. When this begins to happen, the consequence comes from inside the child…rather than us having to provide one from the outside. In my book, From Bad Grades to a Great Life (now available as an e-book) I provide a variety of additional strategies for helping kids develop this type of internal drive.

• Build them up in their strengths.

Kids who make a lot of mistakes also need to experience plenty of success. That's why it's so important to encourage them to spend time and energy on their strengths. Celebrating their successes cements our relationship and gives them the courage to tackle the tough stuff!

To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

Living Love & Logic Tip #63

Before I became a parent, I believed that my children would always solve their problems with words rather than fists.

Then I became a parent…and my kids hit me…and they hit each other.

Take heart. Practically all young children experiment with being aggressive…even when raised in loving, nonviolent homes. Our job as parents is to help them learn more peaceful ways of managing conflict. Listed below are a few tips:

• Apply the "Uh Oh Song"
  
  When your toddler hits, sing "Uh Oh," and carry them to their room, a safe highchair, a playpen, or stroller. If you are unfamiliar with this technique study our book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood.

• Pretend to be calm
  
  The "Uh Oh Song" provides a practical strategy for replacing anger, lectures, threats, or spanking. Remember: The calmer you can look, the less likely your child will get hooked on seeing your face turn red.

• Teach problem-solving
  
  When your child is calm, role-play more appropriate strategies for dealing with frustration, anger, or conflict. Give them some possible options: "Some kids decide to say 'I'm mad!' rather than hitting. Some kids decide to color with crayons when they get mad. Some kids decide to go in their room and yell at the mirror."
  
  This type of teaching doesn't work quickly…but as they grow older, they will begin to learn that doing such things can help them stay out of trouble.

• Do your best to keep them fed and rested
  
  Hungry toddlers misbehave. So do tired ones. Too frequently, small children suffer because their parents or daycare providers expect them to cope with unrealistically busy schedules.

• Let them see you getting upset AND see you handling it well.
  
  There is nothing more powerful than backing our words with actions. What makes this attainable is remembering to take good care of ourselves so that we're not so likely to "lose it" in front of the kids.

To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

Living Love & Logic Tip #62

You hold the door for your spouse, and your children are watching.

A child at the grocery store drops his toy, and his mother has her hands full, so you bend to pick it up and offer it to the child. And your children are watching.

It's a snowy morning, and your older neighbor is struggling to clear the driveway to get to work. So you and your son grab shovels and help her.

Your daughter is waiting at the bus stop with her friends. When the bus arrives, the kids start to climb aboard, but one girl drops her backpack and books spill out onto the ground. Although she was almost ready to get on the bus, your daughter goes back to help her friend. They pick up the books and laugh, and climb aboard the bus.

Watching children develop empathy for others is such a delight. Empathy opens the door to understanding others, appreciating differences, noticing, and caring. It is the antithesis of self-serving, whiny, and narcissistic behaviors. Daniel Goleman calls empathy "the foundation of all emotional intelligence."

Empathy is noticing how another person is feeling, and for a moment standing in his or her shoes. It requires a calm and caring state of mind, and is a step that precedes service to others. In our busy lives, it is sometimes difficult to let go of our own pressing worries and consider the perspective of another.

Helping our children develop the capacity for empathy is one of the great gifts we can offer them. In Stand in My Shoes: Kids Learning About Empathy, children can learn directly how to use empathy in their lives.

To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

 

 

Santa is coming to visit!

We have arranged for Santa to visit the children tomorrow, Tuesday, December 18 from 9am to 10am. Sorry for the late notice!

 

If this is not your child's regular day to attend, your child may visit with you during that time.

 

Also,

Per our contract, we will be closed for Christmas and New Year's.

The last day of Preschool is this Friday Dec. 21, 2012. The first day back is Wednesday, Jan 2, 2013.

 

Please pay tuition for the first week of January by this Friday, Dec. 21, 2012. There is no charge for the week of Dec.24, 2012.

 

We have had a great year with your children and love each of them. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

-Ms JoAnn

Living Love and Logic Tip #61

USING EMPATHY TEACHES EMPATHY

Do you ever wonder what it's going to be like when you are old and gray…and you're dependent upon your children for daily care? Does this serve as a sobering reminder of the importance of raising responsible and empathetic kids?

One of the best strategies for raising empathetic kids involves being empathetic with our kids. Yep! Every time we use empathy, we teach it. In our audio, Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up, we describe how consequences gain their power from the empathy locked in before they're delivered.

Here's the problem: Empathy doesn't always come easy! That's why wise people delay their reactions or consequences by saying: "I'm too angry to think about this right now. I make better decisions when I'm calm. We'll talk later."

Is that great modeling? Would you like for your kids to learn to do this?

The next time you find a need to punish your child, experiment with prefacing the consequence with a sincere empathetic statement. For example, "Ooooh, no. That arguing on the way to the game was no fun. You might want to warn your coach that I won't be driving you to the games until I don't have to worry about that anymore."

Another strategy for modeling empathy involves reading stories to our children about others using it. In his new book, Stand in My Shoes: Kids Learning About Empathy, Dr. Bob Sornson provides a heartwarming story about a girl named Emily who discovers the power of empathy. In this book, Emily learns that focusing on the feelings of others brings the best out of others.

When our children experience empathy from us, and they learn about empathy from Emily's wonderful story, the path is laid for a lifetime of happier relationships. Watch for this book. We will have it on our shelves soon. Or, call us and be one of the first to own this book.

To read more from Love and Logic click HERE! This site is LOADED with so many useful tools for parents!

Tool Bench

 Dramatic play is always a learning experience. Pretending to fix things and be a helper is a great way to encourage students to participate more at home! We love our new tool bench and easel, both donated from a past student. Thank you so much!

The tool bench is an incredibly fun way to practice fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination. Students love to  twist, hammer, and 

screw the different nuts and bolts. When we get home, put us to work!

Chocolate Moose

We just LOVE a good book! What fun we have when we learn after reading a book that motivates us to explore and play!

. 

This sweet children's book is about a chocoholic moose who accidentally misreads a help-wanted sign for a mouse job at a bakery! In such a small mouse-sized bakery, this large moose runs into problems, making many mistakes and plenty of messes! But his sweet boss Mrs. Mouse, is patient and clever in helping him to feel useful! This wonderfully illustrated book helps children learn more about friendship and even the importance of reading!

After reading the story Chocolate Moose we were inspired to use our 5 senses in creating a project! First we ate chocolate "mousse" pudding. Boy, was it yummy! Next we used our fingers and the left overs to finger-paint brown paper to be used in the future! This was messy, delicious, and most of all FUN!

Throughout the story, the author uses colorful onomatopoeia (“Slurp, gulp, burp!”). We had fun coming up with our own sounds as we tasted our pudding.  This story really was silly!

Look at those sweet messy faces!  

                            After tasting and painting, we made moose antlers with our brown paper!

What a great story and what great fun we had making our very own moose antlers! This story is now one of our favorites!

Living Love and Logic Tip #60

They Won't Stay in Their Beds

Seven-year-old Jason and three-year-old Tony share a room. Their parents say that bedtime is frustrating. The two go into their room and before long they are out of their beds being silly.

Mom and Dad have tried taking away toys to get them to settle down, but things haven't improved. "We've taken away most of their toys, but they just don't seem to care," reports Dad.

We have two problems here (and a solution):

• Love and Logic does not advocate taking away possessions as a disciplinary measure. Once kids figure out that we are trying to teach them a lesson by taking things away, they soon start designing ways of showing us they don't care. Even if they do care, they don't want us to know it, so they won't show it.
  
  This idea could be confusing because we often suggest that kids use their possessions to raise money needed to solve a problem. For instance, a child might sell or pawn his iPod to raise enough money to send his folks to the movies to help them restore the energy they spent waiting up and worrying when he came home two hours late.

• Jason and Tony's parents are trying to control something that they can't control. It's easy enough to keep the boys in their room, but keeping them in their beds behind a closed door is something else.
  
  For best bedtime results the activity level in the home should slow down for a period of time prior to bedroom time.
  
  Notice that I called it bedroom time instead of bedtime. With that say, "Guys, it's bedroom time. We love you and look forward to seeing you in the morning. Make sure that we don't hear things that might cause us an energy drain. Sleep tight! Love you."

Before starting this routine, watch the DVD, Simple Parenting Strategies: For Raising Great Kids in Complicated Times, so that you are prepared to deal with the situation the next day, if necessary.

To see more helpful resources click HERE and visit the Love and Logic website!

Friends That Think Alike!

 

School is so much more fun when you have a friend to share everyday with! We are lucky at HO4K's that all the kids are such good friends. Some of the kids even think alike:) These two were thrilled when they showed up to school wearing the exact same outfit on the same day! They both look so cute and their smiles make our day!

Learning in Many Different Ways

When painting children learn fine motor skills as well as the step by step application process. For example, the little one above is just learning that the paint goes on the paper and not in your mouth! Look how creative she is! The little ones below follow the 3 step process to painting pumpkins. First they paint the pumpkin orange, next they glue 3 triangles on for the nose and mouth. Finally, the students choose the expression for the mouth. Painting is lots of fun and is a great tool to enhance fine motor skills that eventually help with writing skills. 

Standards addressed with painting activities:

6.PK.1 Demonstrate skills in eye-hand coordination (e.g., stacking, sorting, lacing toys, stringing beads,

reproducing basic patterns, complete six-piece puzzle, Legos and peg-boards).

6.PK.2 Demonstrate the muscle strength, dexterity, and control needed to manipulate items (e.g., scissors, writing utensil, paint brushes, play dough, buttons/snaps, etc.).

6.PK.3 Use fingered or tripod grasp with drawing, painting or writing instruments.

Although she doesn't know her letters yet, the more exposure the better! Above she is putting letters on and off the flannel board. Playing with letters is important because she becomes familiar with how the letters look. When she is ready she will be able to more easily identify the letters and eventually the sounds! Anytime a child plays with manipulatives it is active learning. 

Nothing is more exciting than when little ones start to initiate their own learning! Even though he is just 11 months old, he picked up the book and started to "read" it all by himself! He knows how to flip through the pages. This is the beginning of understanding the concepts of print!